This time around, however, I've been grabbed by the book in a way I managed not to be beforehand. I'm reading the Penguin Classics translation, which is very fluid and clear, and am finding so many things in it that I missed the first time round. Doestoevsky seems to have a brilliant way of describing situations, often for pages and pages, whilst keeping you interested; usually I get utterly frustrated by books that spend too long on descriptions of people/places/plot (Thomas Hardy, I'm looking at you!). He also has an amazing insight into the way the human mind works, plotting out the protagonist Rashkolnikov's machinations and inner monologue spectacularly, often sucking you in to the very emotions felt by the man himself. Most of all (and this is one of the main reasons why I felt compelled to have another stab at this book, if you'll excuse the pun), Rashkolnikov is portrayed as the archetypal "criminal" - which, given my placement in a prison this year, is quite interesting food for thought...
I won't go into too much detail on the plot, but essentially it brings the following question to my mind, which also happens to be the one I have been mulling over during my visits to prison - that of Nature vs. Nurture. Would I, not having had the upbringing and start in life that I have had, had ended up in exactly the same position as the prisoners in front of me? Many of them have had appalling childhoods, financial or family pressure to resort to criminal activities, or (like Raskolnikov) have ended up in debt and desperately need to pay off their loans.
However, (again like the protagonist), there is the question of whether one's innate character is entirely shaped by the world around us. Are people merely "victims of their surroundings"? Raskolnikov seems to have an innate mental instability and mind complex whereby everything is analysed down the every minutiae - slowly but surely, he can justify any action he does to himself, or to others around him. The guilt however, that he feels (and that many of the people I've met feel), is not escapable - something that reminds me of the power of the human conscience. For this reason, I get irritated when I see papers like the Daily Mail or their ilk calling criminals "monsters" or "fiends" - yes, some people are mentally unstable and should be treated securely for their own good. Yes, some people have done terrible and devestating things. But we do no good either to the victims or to the criminal by de-humanising them and calling them 'monsters'.
The problem is that in each of us, there is that self-same potential to do wrong. One theme that runs through the Bible is that we live in a fallen world, a world that has been fundamentally "broken". Human nature, too, is "broken" - our wills are corrupted, so that "I don't understand what I do. What what I want to do, I don't do, but the very thing I hate!" (Romans 7:15). Often we know what's right, but don't have the impetus to carry it out - I struggle with this every day! We rant and rave about people who have murdered, robbed, defrauded others, putting them on a pedestal that says "really bad", which in many cases is just short-hand for "worse than me". We put a line inbetween them and us, and in doing so seem to self-righteously suggest that we never do wrong, nor have the capacity for it. I'm not saying that punishment is a bad thing - it is a necessary thing, to have justice. But justice must always be tempered with mercy, understanding, and rehabilitation. I have seen and heard of lives in prison fundamentally changed by God's power to re-shape people's lives. I go in every week, getting to know the men inside, trying to help them understand that there is a God who thinks that they are worth something, not just inhuman monsters.
God is in the business of transforming lives. If you get a chance, read One Step Beyond, by Gram Seed - evidence of God's power over crime, drugs, sin, and everything that gets in the way of having a full life. Jesus came that we might "have life, and have it to the full". (John 10:10). His power is stronger than anything that crime can muster - his love is better than anything the world can offer. If I didn't believe God had any power, I wouldn't be doing this year of church internship! It's not about me going into the prison and proclaiming how much better I am, or how much better off they'd be if they "joined our club". It's about telling people the good news that God can turn people's lives around. In Jesus there's a wiping of the slate, a clearing-out of past wrongs, a chance to start again. As a Christian, I still muck up and fail - I'm still human. But the difference is that God is, little by little, shaping me and moulding me into a new being, a different person. I still retain my inner 'Tim-ness', and am not going to be replaced by a mindless automaton spouting Bible-verses - instead, I become more of who I truly am.
Through Jesus, any of us can be forgiven - there is no crime so severe that God cannot forgive it if we truly are sorry for what we've done. I find this hard to stomach, as do the guys in the prison. But I believe it, even if I don't fully understand how it works, in the same way I believe my computer functions (but don't have a clue how the inner machinations function). To end, this Psalm puts it better than I can:
The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
He does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.
(Psalm 103:8-13)
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